Butt Rockers vs. Flair Bears
The Clash of the Style Herdsby Jason “Ballin’ Gansta” Dyer
You see them roving the mountain in packs or pairs. They are highly protective of their group. They have the right tags, sags, or flair. Whether it’s tight or loose, bright or black, they look the part for a certain style. You know what we’re talking about—the Style Herds.
The newest Herd on the playing field these days is the Tight Pants Wide Stance, or more eloquently put, the Butt Rockers. They are easily identified by the slim-cut Holden gear, or the neatly sewn KR3W super-slims that look like 70’s spandex ski gear. Don’t forget the 80’s rocker teased hair and strategically placed bandanas. Usually this superb display is topped off with an Airblaster Leg Bag and a stance of 23 inches or more.
The next group of riders slips past the jumps but never misses a rail. They just watched that sick triple kink in the latest Finga on Da Trigga video—these are the straight-up ballin’ Gangstas. This gang rocks a large stance and triple-XL duds. The clothing is usually Tech Nine or Section—the colors are always loud and the patterns always match. They complete their setup with a bandana over their face and a bangin’ set of headphones pumpin’ the latest Juvenile.
Then there are the Flair Bears. These dudes should moonlight as safety cones at road construction sites—you can see them from across the mountain. They choose outfits with overly bright colors (especially pink, you can’t forget pink) that burn your eyeballs when you look at them. They run the Leg Bag, and you can’t see their noses due to a healthy goggle sag. One-piece suits are a staple with most of this crowd, and mixing and matching is the norm with the rest. This can be a bit disorienting. For example, they take the tight pants of the Butt Rockers and cross them with the XXXL jacket of the Gangstas to create a mutant of biblical proportions. This type of steeze-chameleon changes its skin on a day-to-day basis but always rides with the rest of his Herd.
The Typical Shred Head is the kind of person who takes any chance to get out on the hill. Whether it's first or last chair, you'll see these folks. If it snows on Thursday, they're calling in sick Friday and just going for it. Even if they're driving two hours up and back, they're pumped to do it three days in a row. The Shred Head's set up is always quality gear and established brands, usually Burton, DAKINE, Sessions, or 686 . Their outfits are simple - not too baggy and not too tight. When it all comes down to it, they are the most diehard people on the hill. Shred Heads don't ride as a fashion statement, they ride for the love of it.
Finally, everyone’s favorite herd: the infamous Beaters. They are a motley mix of sub-par shredders—their snowboarding abilities run the gamut of suck. The Beaters try to travel in groups, but due to the vast differences in snowboarding skill and quality of gear, they end up scattered all over the hill. They come in droves on weekends and like ravenous locusts during any holiday period. They’ll cut you off in just about any terrain and remain oblivious no matter what obscenities you throw their way. Their mating call is a high-pitched “Yahoooo”, which follows an “epic” 3-inch pow turn or a “sick” one-foot air off a bump on the side of the groomer.